By Dawn Shuler
We all have those times where we can just chug along in our businesses and lives…. la la la la. We’re good. We’re happy. It’s status quo at its best.
And then that all changes. We want more. We’re ready. Status quo is not good enough.
So, then we have a decision to make.
I call this a threshold moment or a choice point because it usually involves taking a conscious step – passing over that threshold or choosing a different path from the one you’re on.
It can be scary, and what I know is that in order to cross over that threshold, the potential result has to be stronger than the fear of change. And many people can’t do it.
The unhappily married woman who complains day after day about her husband not taking any responsibility for the kids or the house, and yet won’t let him make a single decision, like what to eat, on one of the rare occasions when she’s out for the evening.
The woman who goes to a women’s business conference every year and approaches a coach about writing a book. They even brainstorm a kick-ass title. Year after year, she comes back to the booth and says, “I still haven’t written that book.”
The business owner who says she wants things to be different and even creates a plan for big changes. But when it comes time to implement those changes, she backs down, and rails against the person who partnered with her to make those changes.
The consultant who says she needs to create boundaries with her clients, but it takes her months to put those changes in place. Then, when she does, at the first sign of complaint from her clients (who have gotten used to her loose boundaries), she returns everything back to the way it was.
People may say they want things to be different, that they want to step into their biggest, brightest, highest selves.
But when it comes down to it, change at that level is too big and scary.
It’s not that they didn’t mean it when they said they want XYZ. They do want XYZ. It’s just that what they have to do – who they have to be – in order to get XYZ… they’re not willing to do that.
Change isn’t easy. It’s made up of baby steps and then, at other times, leaps. No matter how many baby steps you take, eventually you have to leap. And that leap is scary. And rarely do you ever get the message, “This is the right time. Everything is absolutely in place. It’s the perfect time.”
There are always doubts. And you have to leap anyway.
The end goal that lies beyond the threshold? To be that biggest, highest, brightest self.
So, how do you cross over the threshold?
- Keep the end goal in mind… and FEEL it. What does it look like, smell like, sound like, taste like? What are you going to be able to do as a result?
- Listen to your Inner Critic Gremlin, and then come up with the data to prove him wrong. “You never finish anything.” Your response: “Sure I have…. Lookie here… This time, and that time, and this other time.” Write the data down to refer to because the Inner Critic Gremlin will poke his head up again and again.
- Create your Action Plan to get to what lies beyond the threshold. What are all the steps you can take? Write them all down, even the littlest ones. Especially the littlest ones. And then take at least one step every day.
- Review your end goal and your Action Plan regularly to keep you on track.
- Build a support system. Share your goals and dreams with others. Ask them to check in on you. Report back to them, no matter if you’re happy with your progress or not.
- Every so often (the time frame may vary depending on your goal), list all that you’ve accomplished toward your goal. People almost always do more than they think. Write it down so that you can see how awesome you are.
- Celebrate once you’ve reached your goal. Don’t just move on right to the next one. Breathe, take some time, and feel into your new place across the threshold.
And then get ready for the next one.